About Me
Rather than give you the “born in 1846, the child of a Hollywood actor and a leading nun” guff, here are a few useful snippets about me.
Well, when I say “useful” …
- I once played cricket for India U19’s.
- I’m not Indian.
- I wasn’t under 19.
- I’ve played cricket for Harrow NALGO (”The Lemmings”).
- I’ve never lived or worked in Harrow.
- I’ve never been a member of NALGO.
- The building in which I was born became a centre for the, um, mentally challenged.
- I have been a scout for Brighton & Hove Albion.
- I used to be a whizz at Space Invaders.
- I watched the 1982 World Cup instead of sitting my end of year exams.
- For some reason, I was only in further education for one year.
- My first computer was a Dragon 32.
- I own a ridiculous number of URLs for ideas that have yet to become projects.
- I have short-lived (very, in some cases) obsessions.
- I don’t like mornings.
- If I were a famous leader, I’d be Albert Einstein.
- If I was a film, I’d be Apocalypse Now.
- My favourite film is ‘Twelve Angry Men’.
- I studied French and German in Welsh (but Maths in English).
- The most useful thing I learned in school was how to type.
- My CD collection includes albums by NWA, Led Zeppelin, Elton John and Geri Halliwell.
- I don’t believe you should need to make an appointment to see a fortune-teller.
- Like all Geminis, I don’t believe in astrology.
- Ineptitude irritates me (as you’ll know from my many rants).
- I have what many consider to be poor taste - both in clothes and humour.
- I can’t believe how fat I’ve become - I remember being horrified when I found out I weighed 12 stone - now I’d be delighted to weigh so little.
- I keep forgetting my age, and rarely act it.
- My right foot takes a size 7 or 7½, my left a 7½-8.
- I have a tendency for sarcasm.
- I invent useful facts and drop them into conversations. I will then embellish them, getting gradually less credible to see how ridiculous I can get before I get rumbled.
- I am irresistible to women, but this effect is limited to the confines of my imagination.
- Lonnie Donegan ruled.
- I should choose my words more carefully - I cause offence where none is often intended.
- I get annoyed by people who complain about speed cameras - you can’t choose which laws to obey. If you don’t like a law, complain to your MP and campaign for change. It’s called democracy.
- I worked at a museum, for a charity and - for 5½ days - for a right bunch of cowboys.
- I was once headhunted for a job that disappeared in a company re-organisation after the ‘interview’.
- I don’t have a good track record with job interviews - the last one that led to a job was in 1988, and that was for a menial role in a company recruitine en masse! Since then, it’s been a chat over a couple of pints, a chat during a fag break or ‘desktop selection’ (i.e. based on application forms alone).
- That’s me in the top right hand corner of your screen, in Tenby in (I think) 1964 with my first teddy.
- Um … this is tough.
- I give up too easily.
- I’ve lived in 14 homes since I turned 18 - that’s an average of less than 20 months at any one address. I’m not counting the three times I moved back to my parents’, as this would reduce the average to just over 16 months!
- I’m too young to be a widower
- I was due to commentate on a pétanque match live on national TV … but the team didn’t turn up. Probably for the best.
But why are you “Lionel”?
Well, I was looking for a new URL for my blog and was hoping to get something short and snappy (along the lines of a baby alligator, but more web-friendly). Playing around with letters in a URL availability form, and being in a whimsical frame of mind, I found that “rarsh” was still available.
“Rarsh”, I decided, would be the roar of a friendly lion (more akin to Parsley from The Herbs than a real wild beast) and what better name for a lion than Lionel?
It’s obvious when you know, isn’t it?