rARsh!

Anti-Marketing

There are umpteen sites out there that claim they can help you grow the traffic to your blog.

This post, however, is a tutorial based on personal experience on the subject on how to dwindle your readership.

1. Change your URL. If you’ve been at the same URL for twelve months your blog’s too easy to find.
2. Post frequently - too frequently for people to keep up with. They’ll soon get fed up and won’t bother coming back.
3. Develop a series of short-lived fixations (e.g. wildlife in your garden, a new car you’re getting) and post repeated minutae on the same theme. Be sure that your fixation is not potentially interesting otherwise you may accidentally attract more people instead.
4. Try to post in the wee small hours when your mind’s really not at its sharpest. You may find that developing clinical depression, being prescribed HappyPills(TM) and then weaning yourself off the pills may help you wth your insomnia (assuming that you’re trying to get insomnia rather than trying to get rest).

There’s one more sure-fire way to reduce your dwindling audience to a trickle but I don’t think I need to resort to the artistic nude self-portrait. Not yet, anyway.